Isis Issues.
My crit group has been helping me with a *coff* fifth-ish revision on THE TIES OF BLOOD. It's a story I knew was too big for me when I started it eight years ago, and I think I'm finally finding the best way to tell it. (Yeah, some books just take that long.) Anyway, the major change in this draft is that Isis now gets to narrate some of the book, not just third-close on Arion.
The problem with working with Isis is that now my tone is off. It's a historical YA fantasy, set in a Regency-era world, and while it has a Very Strong romantic element, it isn't entirely a romance-- but the beginning is very heavy on the romantic issues. And Isis's voice is very honest, so reading her in first and then Arion's parts in third creates a bit of a disconnect with Arion and the main thrust of the story. (Or so I'm told-- I'm a little too close to it to really know, but I totally see where Amelia & Janelle are coming from when they tell me this.)
Solution? Change Isis's parts to third-close as well. I've written a bit of WITH SOUL SO DEAD (#2) and the Epilogue to THE MIDST OF EVILS (#3), all of which have parts that are third-close on Isis. So I know I've done it before-- but for some reason, changing her current opening is just Not Working.
It's stilted. The same information coming across in third sounds whiny or doormat-ish, not aching and heartbroken. I still wind up with the problem where Arion sounds like an ass (which, OK, he kinda is at times). And I'm not sure if it's my issue, trying to keep the same 'format' for her prologue, or if it's going to be a problem later in the story as well-- but it feels like the latter. The reason I love this prologue is because it fixes a lot of issues I had with old drafts very efficiently, but if it doesn't work, I'm willing to scrap it and start over (and yes, Amelia & Janelle, I added that bit we discussed at the last meeting-- you'll get it next week).
To be fair, I've also tried writing Arion's parts in first. For some reason, whenever I write him in first, it feels Way Too Modern. I can barely get a few sentences without running screaming back to third. *headdesk*
Anyone else switched point-of-view like this? Did you question the decision or did you switch because it was obviously the best solution? I don't want to give up on it too soon, but usually when I make a big change like this I know it's for the best-- and this one I just don't know yet.
ARGH.
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Funny you should ask... not essentially a POV issue but I did spend yesterday chasing my tail (& my tale) round the block & back again. Only to recognise that I don't need the melodrama I was contemplating.
The prologue I wrote for Finding Blodeuwedd has been in & out of the story like a cat through a flap. It's been placed elsewhere (which is where it presently lies) but I'm still unsure.
I liked the shape of the writing, the scene I'd created, far too much to abandon it. If you are attached to yours, would it work elsewhere?
May your Muse be with you x
Ah, I did that chase with a few scenes in ACCURSED. Wound up taking it out, but it's so hard sometimes to see what's needed & what's not.
Unfortunately, this particular scene would only work where it is now, based on the thoughts & events of the narrator, but I'm used to tossing things in & out of this piece. Trying to find the best way to tell it is the hard part. *sigh* As always, only way out is through.
Hmm, Garolass was originally third-past and I switched to first-present, even though I'd never written anything in it before. But it did feel clearly better.
If you need a second opinion, feel free to shoot me some pages. I have time to read now that I'm done with revisions!!
Hm. Yes, W&F was past-tense & switched to present. And the first bit of TTOB I ever wrote was first, present, A's POV but I knew that wouldn't hold the whole book, so it went to third-close & past. Those were Right. This feels more like Probably Wrong But I Can't Really Tell And Am I Only Saying It's Wrong Because I Don't Want To Change? I Don't Know.
So I will prob. be taking you up on that pages offer soon. Also, send me new Thrice-Blessed, pretty-please? I could use a dose of Hawt Bookseller Boy. :)
I can think of a number of books I've written which have switched tense and voice. It was frustrating at the time, but with hindsight, I believe it was just a necessary part of finding the right voice. In fact, with some of them I'm still not sure I'm there yet ...
Yeah, I definitely want to give it a shot, or how will I know if it is/isn't right? I think part of my frustration is that I've been working on this book for so long, I'm just ready for it to be right. *sigh* Ah, well. It'll figure itself out eventually.
Hey! Just thought I’d chime in. I really enjoyed your post. Keep up the awesome effort.
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